I’ve been thinking about connectedness lately. The theme has been circling my mind like a bird making rounds, looking for a place to land. I’m not sure I’ve landed yet, but I think the revelation is just how important connection is.

Connectedness is defined as a feeling of belonging. Well, if that’s not what we are all seeking! When we know that we belong, that we can be ourselves, and that we are safe. When we receive the message: you belong, we can let our hair down and breathe a little deeper. Perhaps even sigh because our nervous system is able to regulate.

“Through our sense of connectedness, we grow and we heal, which is exactly what helps develop resilience.” - Kathy Kain PhD & Stephen Terrel PsyD

I’m reading a book called ‘Nurturing Resilience: Helping Clients Move Forward from Developmental Trauma’ and in it the authors, Kathy Kain PhD and Stephen Terrel PsyD, write about the way connectedness and resilience are linked. They explain how our sense of safety is rooted in the way we experience connectedness with others, specifically our caregivers (speaking of childhood experience). They also write that experiences of safety and connectedness help strengthen our immune system and overall health! Ideally, when stress comes our way (as it does) we will be able to respond in healthy ways because we have a sense of connectedness and belonging.

What does connection look like for you?

For me, it looks like walking by a lake and looking up at the birds flying overhead. Laughing at some silly joke with my family. Writing a letter to a dear friend. Reading the story of someone’s pain that sounds a bit like mine. Singing along with the crowd at a show. Sharing a meal with neighbors and friends.

If you are not sure you feel much connection these days, you are certainly not alone. This is a lonely time. The CDC has a few suggestions to improve social connectedness here for you to explore.

My hope is that we all find our little pockets in the world where we know we belong, are safe, and can truly connect. We may just all rest a little easier.